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The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children
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A groundbreaking approach to understanding and parenting children who frequently exhibit severe fits of temper and other intractable behaviors, from a distinguished clinician and pioneer in this field.
What's an explosive child? A child who responds to routine problems with extreme frustration - crying, screaming, swearing, kicking, hitting, biting, spitting, destroying property, and worse. A child whose frequent, severe outbursts leave his or her parents feeling frustrated, scared, worried, and desperate for help. Most of these parents have tried everything - reasoning, explaining, punishing, sticker charts, therapy, medication - but to no avail. They can't figure out why their child acts the way he or she does; they wonder why the strategies that work for other kids don't work for theirs; and they don't know what to do instead.
Dr. Ross Greene, a distinguished clinician and pioneer in the treatment of kids with social, emotional, and behavioral challenges, has worked with thousands of explosive children, and he has good news: These kids aren't attention-seeking, manipulative, or unmotivated, and their parents aren't passive, permissive pushovers. Rather, explosive kids are lacking some crucial skills in the domains of flexibility/adaptability, frustration tolerance, and problem solving, and they require a different approach to parenting.
Throughout this compassionate, insightful, and practical book, Dr. Greene provides a new conceptual framework for understanding their difficulties, based on research in the neurosciences. He explains why traditional parenting and treatment often don't work with these children, and he describes what to do instead. Instead of relying on rewarding and punishing, Dr. Greene's "Collaborative Problem Solving" model promotes working with explosive children to solve the problems that precipitate explosive episodes, and teaching these kids the skills they lack.
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Audible Audiobook
Listening Length: 6 hours and 21 minutes
Program Type: Audiobook
Version: Unabridged
Publisher: Ross W. Greene PhD
Audible.com Release Date: December 10, 2018
Language: English, English
ASIN: B07L5ZVQ1R
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
Our child isn't "explosive" but just way harder to get to do stuff than some - i.e. transition from bed to up, from TV to homework, from friend's house to car, etc. This book really helps in explaining those behaviors so they make sense and giving techniques to avoid the threats and yelling that I hate to say was getting pretty common in our house. Maybe better title: "The Explosive Parent; A New Approach for Understanding and Dealing With the Strange Person You Become sometimes when Dealing With Your Child."
I will admit it... my first 2 kids were very easy. So easy, in fact that I was lulled into a false sense of confidence about this parenting thing. I might even have to admit that I got a bit smug and yes...it's true...Judge-y. Yep. I would see parents with a child who was screaming and out of control and think something along the lines of "They only need to be consistent and set firm boundaries and then their little monster will become docile and compliant like my amazing kids..." So you have probably heard of the great scripture, "Judge not, lest ye be judged." well...all I can say is that Yikes. God is listening and God has a sense of humor. Yeah...I'm living that scripture out in a real world way with child #3. Trust me...in my mind I have apologized to every stranger I ever stood in arrogant judgement of...a million times over. I wish I could write them encouraging notes and tell them I know they have probably tried every trick in the book and to please know that their horribly behaved child is NOT a reflection of them and poor parenting (as I have eaten so much crow about!!!). I have apologized in person to the parents I know in real life for thinking they might have been missing the "magic touch" to tame their wild beast. I am now the weary, battle-scarred and infinitely more humble mom to one such wild beast...errrr rather, "explosive child."Our daughter's OT suggested this book and I'm pretty sure I sounded like really enthusiastic parishioner during a great sermon because I found myself blurting out "YES!!" "That's exactly right!" and "Amen!!" a few times...and I suddenly felt understood and human again. But, most importantly, I understood my little explosive child much better and began to learn ways to avoid her going into VAPOR LOCK and being "unreachable" and volatile.Does she still throw humiliating tantrums without regard to where we are or who might witness it? Yes. Am I still mortified in those moments and begging God to spontaneously combust me? Yes. Will that ever change...? I doubt it. lol But we are doing better now that I have a more solid understanding of her psychology and how to work with it.If you are looking at this book, perhaps it is because someone in your life (a doctor, OT, Therapist, friend, or fellow parent of an explosive child) has recommended it, so please know I am praying for you! lol I do...I pray for parents everywhere who have a child like this because it is really the hardest thing I have ever undertaken as a parent!! Please know you are not alone....and as a reformed judger, I can only say I am so so so sorry. I never knew!!! But I am humbled and wiser now...and still wondering if spontaneous combustion could save me from some of the more embarrassing locales of explosions.... :-)
At first the premise of this book is a little hard to take in, but once you do, it is a god send. It took me 2 readings to finally understand, believe, and then commit to the idea. Once I started using "Plan B" with my teen age daughter everything began to change, for the better.
I got this book two years ago for my 3 year old girl. She was frustrated, I was frustrated, and she had 2 younger siblings. We needed change. This book changed our lives. I took every word to heart. Wrote down the problems and came up with a strategy. Focused on one behavior at a time. It took months of hard work to see progress but one skill at a time has added up to a strong and amazing straight A Kindergartener who is thriving. I know her better than my other kids because of the journey we had to go threw together. The parent training I received from implementing the teachings in this book has made life so much easier for my other kids because whatever comes up, this mom has a plan. I realized today when referring this to a friend today just how far we have come. I had forgotten how hard things once more. And as I wathed her kid struggle like mine used to I couldn't help but think, that kid has amazing potential once his determination is pointed in the right direction. Yours can too. Read the book and study it like a college course. Your life and children's lives will change. Having a plan gives up hope. This is your plan.
Lots of insightful advice, but my kid got REALLY MAD when she found it on my nightstand.
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